Today, I spoke to a manager at Walmart

to see if I could  possibly work 4 hour shifts there.  I got sick years ago, and it has been a challenge to work outside the home for over two decades.  I became allergic to all sorts of scented things- people’s colognes, fabric softener smells, you name it.  In our own home, we live “natural”.  We use natural, unscented personal and cleaning products.  I can’t really afford to buy organic food right now, but I do read labels and buy whole foods with no artificial colors, flavors, and preservatives, etc.

The Pizza place job was the first “real” job I had in 22 years, and I could work the 5 hour shifts no problem.  Walmart would have a lot more customers, fellow employees and products that I could react to (the personal products the people used and the sizing, pesticides, etc from all the new and/or fragrant products in the store).

I needed money from somewhere.  My husband and I were so sick of struggling.  Now, both credit cards were up to the max.  We would spend the last $5.00 on the last of the two credit cards we had tomorrow when I would let my husband use it for breakfast, before he went to work. I had enough leftovers for me to eat.

For my husband’s lunch and dinner, I would have to see if anyone would let me borrow something and then we could be able to pay them back the following day (Thursday) when we would get my husband’s paycheck.

I hated living like this.  We have been living like this way too long.

I found a video on YouTube yesterday where Carrie Underwood sang How Great Thou Art with Vince Gill at a Country Music Awards show, I believe.  I think it was a tribute show to women in country music.

I played that song over and over and over again. I didn’t know why God was allowing me to not get a job, or when I did, it wouldn’t last with no fault of my own.

Yes, He said, one day, my husband and I would work in full-time ministry, someday. But, until then, we needed a paycheck from somewhere.  It was so difficult to continue to just scrape by for so long, when I desired so much to be blessed abundantly, so we could be a blessing to others. I was sick of being a burden to them.

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