Marriage is one of the most misunderstood institutions there is.
Couples who prepare to walk down the aisle, so many times, have misconceptions about what it is, (what to expect).
So many people believe marriage is going to be one big neverending fairytale complete with roses, cotton candy, and unicorns. And, they quickly become greatly disappointed after the wedding day.
I always thought that this graphic (and others similar to it) that went around the internet was hilarious, but very true-
Marriage has a lot of expectations involved with it. And, these expectations, most will fall short of. Many people go into a marriage believing that it is their spouse who is supposed to make them happy. Marriage is exactly the opposite. People are to get married to help the other person, make the other person happy.
It is sacrifice and hard work. It is dealing with past emotional baggage and bad habits. It is someone who you won’t always agree with.
Marriage is anything but a fairytale. And, some have it harder than others. If people have been subject to abuse and other negative things in their earlier life, they may spend their entire marriage fighting against those old demons that they, and possibly their spouse, as well, are still dealing with.
If there is something in someone’s past that is not yet resolved, or that still needs healing after a couple gets married, then that will be an additional obstacle the couple will need to deal with.
In marriage, it is easy to want to be selfish. But, the only way a marriage will be successful is if each person strives to be self-LESS and put the other person before themselves.
You do see couples that seem so close and there is such a bond. They seem so happy. And, then you see, in my experience, most married couples who- their greatest goal is simply to have peaceful interactions in their home, just get along as even friends. Romance has gone out the window. Intimacy has gone out the window. There are occasional arguments, but nothing earth shattering, nothing warranting divorce.
Yeah, most of us all start out with the “Cinderella complex”, wishing, hoping, and praying for their prince to come. And, while he may seem like a prince when we first meet him, we quickly learn that he belches, picks his nose, and passes gas just like the rest of them.
We discover that he hogs the remote control, eats the last cookie on you, and doesn’t drive the safest.
And, I’m sure he has his gripes about us women, as well. This is real life, folks. This is what marriage is all about. The key to happiness, for those of us in the real world, is to understand and realize that, with the annoyances and quirks, bad habits and shortcomings each and every one of us has, there are also moments of being content, moments of joy, little miracles in the midst of the imperfection.
Yes, life, in general, is messy, crazy, and, at times, ugly. But, it can also be rewarding if we learn to appreciate the little treasures we experience when we least expect them.
Marriage is one of these things that seems to be something it is not. But, when we finally do embrace it for what it is, it can be good- REALLY good. It can be two people who work through the hard stuff together, help each other, be there for each other, stick with each other during the good times and the bad. Your spouse can end up being your most solid rock and very best friend.
But, it needs to be mutual. It needs to be both people giving 100 percent, not one giving 90 percent and one giving 10 percent.
We all have bad days. We all get beat up by the world. To know there is one person you can go to who will always be there, where it will be you two against the world- well, that is marriage, what marriage truly is meant to be. And, that is priceless.
I will end this post with a funny, but true, sentiment about marriage-